Coupl'a Things XIX

1) Daniel called this week to announce that he and Stephanie are moving to Lincoln, Nebraska. Daniel got his own store with Guitar Centers. He seems thrilled, but a little nervous about it, and to be sure they didn't give him much time. Stephanie, I am not sure about, I didn't talk to her, but she was looking for a job, so maybe Lincoln will give her a better opportunity.

I was about the same age when I drug my young family to Jefferson City, MO from Illinois. Jefferson City was never on the short list of places to which I would have relocated, but there you have it, I did, 2 kids born and grew up there, one buried there. Maybe Lincoln is the Jeff City for Daniel. Hope it turns out a bit better for him than it did for me in JC.

It is amazing, my little D is big enough to run a huge operation, making decisions, hiring, firing, buying, selling, listening to customers and employees bitch. Makes me feel old.

Good luck, kid.

2) Greg suggested I thin my onions out and that the ones I pick would be fine green onions. So I did and now have a crop of great green onions to use. They are quite good.



3) Please... go away Susan Boyle. I am one who is NOT a fan.



It is not because of her background, or her looks, cheeky act or all that... she can't sing.

Coupl'a Things XVI

1) Tax Day. Wrote my measly checks out to the state and feds. One thing, about the only thing, I learned from my father was that you don't manipulate your taxes to get a big refund. Don't give the government all your money and let them use it and not give you the interest, he preached. So I get as close as I can get. $89 to the feds and a whopping $9 to the State of MO. Gotta finesse a bit to get maybe a few bucks back next year. When Maria turned 21, I lost her as a deduction so that caused the deficit.

I love the tax instructions. It even prescribes how you are to write out your check. The amount is to be written as $XXX.XX NOT as $XXX.-- or as I do $XXX.00/100. I did it the latter way by habit, and I bet you anything they will cash it.

2) Happy Birthday yesterday Daniel. You didn't call me back...grumpy pants. I love the Siffl and Olly stuff.. that is a hoot. Read Daniel's blog Save Continue.

3) Going to check out the garden today as the sun is shining and it is supposed to be a bit warmer. I hope to see lots of little onions sticking out of the ground. Gave some onion bulbs to Gina when I was last there, I was sick of the damn things. She asked when do you know they are ready. The package was no help as it said "harvest when mature". So I checked and when the stalks begin to droop over and before they seed. That was not much more help... so we'll wait and see!

Wedding Bells VI: Epilogue

I finally could not stand it. The Flightaware program showed that Delta flight 370 from Managua to Atlanta had arrived. Ok... time to get out of the plane, through customs and luggage and all the nightmare that is Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Airport. Did they make the flight, did they get to Managua on time for an 8am departure? That means getting up in the middle of the night. I could not stand it, so I called. Daniel answered. YAY! They were "home" or at least most of the way there. They were on the train that connects the terminals so they must have had an easier time than Bruce and I did in March.

Yep, I worry a lot. It is a family tradition, my mom never told her mom what was going on and I never told my mom a lot, as she constantly worked herself into a tizzy over what might happen.

Daniel called me back when he could hear me better. Sounds like they had a great time, no disasters, no major hassles. Saw most of San Juan del Sur, met Marie, drank and ate to their hearts' content. A respite from the reality.

I can breathe now, they are back, the Delta MD90 got them from Atlanta to St Louis as it should.

Reality beckons them as it is does us on this finally sunny Monday AM. Work, bills, dealing with people, problems to solve, minefields to negotiate.

Why can't we all have a perpetual honeymoon??

Wedding Bells V: Reflections

As is usual, I sort of did this whole wedding series backwards, starting with pictures of the reception and then my reactions and observation of the wedding. But it also allows me to go full circle and end, for now, with some general reflections and anecdotes, mostly fragmentary but straight from the heart.

What I thought would be one of the more difficult aspects of the whole weekend, being near my ex and trying to ignore her, was actually a non event. We both broke the glacier early and managed not to snipe at each other, at least not publicly. As I reported in a previous post, I even reflected that we had managed to rear a great young man, respectful, intelligent, hard working, devoted and loving. The kid never, ends a conversation with me without saying that he loves me. I never told my dad that, nor he to me.

My favorite person at the reception was the waitress with the sushi platter. I sought her out all evening as the hors d'oeuvres were being passed. When it came time to have some cake, I passed as it looked way sweet and loaded with chocolate. "I'd rather have sushi", I mentioned to my sister. The Sushi Lady heard me and I got a nice assortment of rolls for dessert. Daniel, a sushi-aphile like me, was pleased.

It is most difficult for me to come to the realization that Daniel is now a responsible man in a responsible married relationship. I can't help seeing the somewhat manic, live wire, squealing (tease him and he could squeal a high C that would shatter steel let alone glass) little rat is actually a mature man. Daniel will do well in life, he has the right spirit. I just hope the evil forces that prey on the good will pass him by.

And it was not just all about Daniel. Seeing my Princess Maria, now almost 21, grown up too, was quite sobering. Here she is.. making her own decisions, going to college, doing "adult" things (that is what scares me!) and forming her own view of the world. I can only remember her wanting to play and watch TV... and loving her huge stuffed dog Patrick. I felt ancient.

Driving home on Sunday, I felt relieved that all went well, no major drama, and that a new family was beginning. My little rental machine full of goodies, me full of hope and good food and plenty of Martinis. Sadly missing was Her Majesty, she was still enjoying her stay at the spa, her nails manicured and receiving unbridled attention.

The most nerve wracking day for me was Monday when they left for Nicaragua. Would they make it to the airport on time, would they make their connection? Would they get to Managua ok? Would someone be there to pick them up? A weather delay in Atlanta had Daniel a bit nervous but soon the Delta flight was off, just a bit behind. I emailed, pestered more like it, everyone I knew in Nicaragua to make sure they would get picked up for the 2 hour ride to San Juan del Sur. Thanks to Cesar, I knew they were safe and on their way. A picture at DanCesar.com assured me they were in one piece. Since then I have not heard from them. I can only assume they are enjoying themselves in a well deserved vacation.

The following Tuesday, a friend and I had a wonderful evening, the details of which remain with me. Relaxed, fulfilled, and relishing the attention, I realized that at least for a while, life can be worth all the tears.

Wedding Bells IV: The Big Day

The Jewel Box, located in St Louis' Forest Park has been a tourist and city landmark since it opened in November 1936. The soaring glass floral conservatory was designed and built by the St Louis Parks Department. Surrounded by seasonal gardens, lily ponds and sculpture, the Jewel Box's 50 foot high glass and metal walls enclose an array of tropical trees and flowers.

After a $3.5 million renovation in 2002, the Jewel Box was transformed into not only a conservatory but a center for weddings and receptions. With the well maintained tropical foliage and flowers and tranquil fountains, it is a perfect backdrop for a ceremony.

Daniel and Stephanie's wedding ceremony was simple, yet casual/elegant. Their vows exchanged before a stunning tropical backdrop. The men were handsome, the groom suitably nervous, the bride beautiful. A string quartet played before and after the ceremony, peforming "Spring" from the Four Seasons as a wedding march. It all went as planned. Unfortunately, in my haste to get over with my sister and Daniel's aunt and grandfather, I did not have my camera. I'll have to wait for the official pics to arrive.

I was thrilled that Daniel was getting married. Stephanie is a wonderful young lady, it is obvious he adores her. They are somewhat opposite in temperament, but maybe his brashness and her quiet reserve will compliment each other. Having a married son makes me feel old, but also fills me with a sense of accomplishment, the job over. He is a man now, on his own, a family, responsibilities. He will hopefully still need me, and I him as well.

"Despite all the bullshit over the years, we did good" I told my ex as we watched them dance the evening away at the reception. Maybe their lives starting together will heal some of the past. One can hope.

Wedding Bells III: A Diversion

One must take advantage of situations as they arise in these tough economic times. Thus, the trip to the wedding combined with an opportunity to begin the clean out process of my St Louis storage unit.

I left St Louis in April 2004 with the old brown Mercury filled with my computer, the pug and clothes. Everything else had been sold, given away or tossed. Things that I thought I would need again someday were ensconced in a Public Storage complex under the highway in a ratty part of town. I figured it was safe, no one would ever venture there on purpose.

A couple of years ago, I went there and got some things out such as my dining room table, some books, lamps, etc., since I actually had some space and need here at the palace. For some reason I could not get the lock off, so I happened upon a man who let me borrow some bolt cutters. Turns out I needed him again.

I had forgotten my unit # so I went in the office, paid the now much higher rental fee, and got my #. The lock was rusted shut. No amount of jiggling or Liquid Wrench could get it open. Thus, Home Depot was relieved of inventorying one less bolt cutter.

The unit was dusty and there was evidence that Mickey Mouse and friends had partied during the cold months. Indiscriminately I tossed boxes and things into every crevice of the little Korean Ice Blue Machine. All to be taken home to be kept here or tossed. Left behind were the more difficult items; some more chairs, a huge old love seat and large boxes of papers.

Since I have returned, it has been almost like Christmas in September. Things long unseen now revealed, wondering why they were kept or bringing back the fond memories that inspired me to preserve them. Old cast iron skillets from my Grandmother, my Grandfather Clark's old railroad watch, my dress me, I-forget-his-name refrigerator magnet set, my 1990's diaries, an old silvered glass mirror, my Cruella DeVille figurine, a paper surfer from a party in the 90's and things yet unidentified. Much went into the trash as well, why it was kept was beyond me.

I think I have relatively few possession, but seeing a crammed storage unit and knowing I have another one in KC leads me to believe I need another upheaval to rid myself of junk. Lord knows what people have who do not move. My sister for example, I think Amelia Earhart is in her house....somewhere.

So packed with goodies, dirty but satisfied, I motored back to the hotel, cleaned up nice to await my boy's big day. The sun was shining, the air cool but pleasant, all boded well.

Wedding Bells II

As soon as I entered the cavernous underground space serving as the parking lot of the Westin Crown Center Hotel, I knew which one was mine. Hertz Rent-A-Car had just handed me the keys to my weekend transportation. The good old Queen Mary is in need of some brakes and tires so I was not keen on making her get up and go to St Louis, thus I had rented a car. Keeping the tradition alive, Hertz just assigned me the ugliest, brightest colored Korean built car they had. It started with the Glowing Salmon Hyundai Santa Fe I got a couple years ago. Next was the Electric Periwinkle Kia Rio, a little box of a car that could only be seen under a bright light. So now it was a Glare Ice Blue Kia Spectra, a name fitting for a car that seems to reflect the colors of the spectrum. It was ok, it ran, it had brakes and it had gas. A Spectra is a small car, but one that had all the fancy gadgets that were only found on luxo boats in the Queen Mary’s era. The Kia can't hold a candle to the Queen for sheer presence of course.

I had not been on a road trip in a while, but found little had changed from my road warrior days. Like the yummy pictures on the labels of prepared food, the speed limit is only a suggestion. Just like the beef stew, it rarely is the same as pictured. Set your cruise on 70mph and little old ladies in Ramblers will pass you like you are going backwards. Trucks run you over as if you were not there. WTF, I thought, the cops can’t get us all, so up to 80 and off I went. Only an occasional Rambler passed me then.

The road signs all indicated I had reached St Louis, but I did not believe them. West Washington St., that was once a dreary, dark street either by day or by night, had become a bustling Mecca for the urban set. Lofts, condos, shops, bars, restaurants, galleries and the 20 story Renaissance Grand Hotel, my destination, now graced the bright, clean tree shaded street. The Skyline forever changed by the towering Lumiere Place hotel and casino. Once empty storefronts now offered wares or food. A new ball park replaced the original and not that old Bush Stadium. Only the omnipresent Arch seemed to offer continuity.

The rehearsal for Daniel’s wedding was in Tower Grove Park and thus I would be back in my old neighborhood. There some things had changed, but much was familiar and comfortable. I miss it.

Kansas City, by contrast is more of a country village than a big city; just a small town with big city problems. St Louis looks east to New York or Chicago. Kansas City looks west but not as far west as the coast. The dusty, wheat field plains are its source of strength.

But all that talk vanished as I parked the rented ice machine and walked up to the pavilion, full of strangers and family. My son was getting married, a new family was beginning and there were lots of things to do to make it a day they will remember.

Wedding Bells I: Daniel and Stephanie

Daniel and Stephanie 9/6/08

More to come. I am a lousy photographer and have a lousy camera so just a few pics from me. I forgot the camera at the actual wedding ceremony. It was a wonderful wedding, everything went well. Daniel and Stephanie are off to San Juan del Sur Nicaragua for their honeymoon.

Reception at Windows Off Washington:



















Reception at Windows Off Washington:















Daniel and Stephanie Boulware Clark:

















Cutting the Cake:




















Stephanie:




















Daniel's lifelong friend Derek Carson, his best man and best friend:




















My Princess and Wild and Crazy Girl Maria:




















Daniel doing what he loves to do:



Apologies with the above pic, a misplaced red eye correction makes Daniel look like he has a black eye.