Season Finale

Saturday AM I, as I have many times, opened my drop leaf desk, reached into the far right cubby hole and got the tickets for the weekend's Kansas City Symphony concert. Emblazoned on this set was "Season Finale: Tchaikovsky's 4th", obviously signaling the end of the road for this season. But more than that, this concert is the last in the venerable, lovely, frustrating, historic, acoustically nightmarish Lyric Theatre. Many are rejoicing, awaiting the new Moshe Safdie/Yasuhisa Toyota built Kauffman Arts Center. Some old timers want to cling to the past.

Befitting a befuddled Pisces, I have mixed emotions. The Lyric is a monument to 1920's Roman influenced architecture, and was modeled after the Temple of Vesta in Rome. Built as a Shrine Temple, it has been a movie theatre, live theatre, TV studio, opera house, ballet theatre and concert hall, frequently all at once. One can only imagine the great artists who have performed on its cramped stage. As I mentioned in a past post about the last performances of the Lyric Opera, (Retirement) many patrons seem to relish the intimacy and small venue atmosphere of the Lyric while others just thought it crowded. The wonderful detail in the ceiling of the hall, the huge columns, marble and big heavy doors lent an air of solid craftsmanship.

One just had to experience a performance in the old girl to realize her major shortcomings. The stage is small and cramped, limiting what opera can do. When the chorus joined the orchestra on stage, everyone was squished together virtually sitting on top of each other. With only one theatre shared by the symphony, opera and ballet, the various groups had to often rehearse in different locations and then spend crunch time getting used to the theatre.

For us patrons, the orchestra level had more spacious seats but offered muddy, dull and often simply dead acoustics, especially if you were trapped under the balcony. From many seats you could not see past the first couple rows of the orchestra; the winds, brass and percussion could be cardboard cutouts with speakers blaring recordings for all we know. The balcony had better sound and better views, but the seats were cramped with no legroom. I think European low cost airline Ryanair was inspired by the Lyric.

Tonight I and my friend Gerry (who replaced Barbara after she moved away) will occupy Right Center Balcony Row G seats 7 and 8 for the last time. Gerry is one that is thrilled about the move as he hated the cramped seats. He liked the orchestra section, but I was a butt and refused to move. Next season is Grand Tier row AAA # 117 and 118. The ticket office fellow gleefully told me that even though the seats for the next better section were gone, these were actually closer to the stage than my old seats, and had lots of leg room. That should make Gerry happy.

I saw lots of fine productions and concerts at the old Lyric, but I guess it is time now to move on. The new center is the talk of the concert world; according to those who have tested the waters, it is superb. The orchestra's Helzberg Hall will have a fabulous 4 manual, 102 rank Casavant organ installed early next year, the opera theatre has seat back screens for translations and scene descriptions. Great things are coming.

They are having a champagne toast to say good bye to the old girl tonight (I hope they learned from the last time and do NOT pop the corks before the first half ends) and I will join all to cheer the Grande Dame's glorious past and reflect on her murky future.

Retirement

After a combined total of around 10 years, I am retiring tonight. It was sort of forced on me; progress often makes people and things redundant. I love that word "redundant", more graceful than "useless" or "unwanted", but still ringing with finality. I don't think my "employer" even really noticed until I mentioned it yesterday when I agreed to work on Wed rather than Friday.

At least 4 times a year since around 1998 (minus my 4 years in St Louis and elsewhere) I volunteered at the Lyric Opera of Kansas City's "Ingram Room", an opulent, private lounge for the most generous of patrons. They could sip a glass of wine from fine gold rimmed, crystal glasses, indulge on hors d'oeuvres or sweets on elegant green and gold plates and chat amiably in the frankly small, over stuffed room.

For the most part, the high and mighty of KC society were a pleasant lot. The truly rich were usually the nicest, the younger working rich (bankers, lawyers, etc) were often the most pretentious and nasty. One lady, whose hubby is with a firm that sponsors some of the productions, is a nasty, royal, trashy pain in the ass. Hope to never see her again. I no longer do business with their business either and that makes me feel better.

It was fun watching the upper crust flit, flirt, munch and sip. Sort of like watching a display in a zoo; species Richius Americanius genus Kansasian Citianius. "Hello!!! how are you, so good to see you!" Yeah, right, I know they hate each other actually. More fun was herding them out at the start or at intermission so we could get on with the real work, enjoying the treats the caterer brought.

For my first few years, Donna was the coordinator. We called her "Angel Bitch". She was the nicest, kindest lady you could know, but her Ingram Room was done her way. Wine bottles were always in a bottle coaster, "labels forward" her demand. We were quiet during the opera, everything in its place. I missed the AB days, they were the best.

One performance found me in my usual place behind the bar when I noticed a couple of ants crawling on the counter. I reported it to AB but she did not want to believe me until she saw the little creatures scurrying around. DISASTER! I soon saw they were coming from a live orchid on the counter. So it was removed and the ants dispatched post haste. Unfortunately, the person who designed the room (in the style of Marie Antoinette's boudoir) was there and was not amused at the removal of the orchid. It was not until Donna showed him the plant crawling with the little critters that he believed it, but still blamed us for ruining the evening. I knew not who this person was, but now I do... nothing has changed.

One of the many people who passed through the Ingram Room was describing one of the hors d'oeuvre selections to a be-furred and glittering patron: "Crudités with a spicy penis..spicy penis....uh uh oh dear a pee sauce...." she stuttered totally embarrassed and tongue twisted. The gracious patron just said "dear, let's just refer to it as 'the sauce'." She was trying to say spicy peanut sauce, but it just was not to be. We laughed until it hurt.

You get to know people's habits when you serve them regularly and they, no matter their station in life, appreciate it. I endeared myself to many by remembering their drink of choice (we usually just had wine, soft drinks and coffee so it was not a big deal) and having it at the ready for their asking. Joan loved a bit of white wine with a splash of sprite on ice for a frosty spritzer at intermission. Evan, the Opera General Manager,usually asked for a Sprite at intermission. When I would hand him one with out asking, he was usually amazed. "I guess they know me here" he mentioned to a fellow patron when presented with the fait accompli. Another patron always wants red wine, so I have one ready for him. Mrs. Ingram always wants decaf coffee at intermission, half a cup please. Jim will always be the first to taste the evening's fare and pronounce his verdict.

Sometimes, I would sneak in and see the opera but often it was more fun just hanging around at intermission, eating the goodies and gossiping. I learned a lot that way, got to hear all the drama of mounting a professional opera and even got to meet some of the cast and composer Jake Heggie to boot. I so wanted to ask him about his life with Johanna Harris, but I thought not to pry.

This week marks the last opera in the old faithful Lyric Theatre. The new Kauffman Theatre at the Kauffman Center (God do those folks have $$$) will replace the venerable structure. There will be a patron lounge, but it will not be "ours". The Center will staff it and cater. The lovely items of the Ingram room were recently sold to benefit the Opera Circle. I got a gold washed brass basket in which we placed napkins or silverware for the desserts. I had washed, served out of, put away or handled in some fashion just about every item in the place so it was fitting that I take one home.

I am sure the Opera's new home will be a whole new experience, with better seats, acoustics and even monitors in the seat backs for the translations. But as much as the Lyric has become redundant, I will miss the more intimate feeling of a small family, sometimes a crazy, bickering one, producing art for the community to enjoy. In gaining a big, modern, state-of-the-art theatre, we lose a bit of a connection.

Me? I lose a job and the intangible benefits that went with it. Think they will present me with a gold watch?

Shuttered but Not Forgotten

Rumored in the press for a while but buried among stories of aliens and socialists, was the news that the book seller Borders Books and Music was in trouble. Storm tossed by the economic downturn and the public's turn to online resources for books and music, the iconic stores were suffering huge losses. When they declared Chapter 11 Bankruptcy yesterday, it was inevitable that store closings were part of the plan. A list was published and I checked out the soon to be shuttered locations and found a few old favorites among the victims.

I admit, I do not shop much at real live book stores anymore, mostly because I am not that big of a book reader and because their classical music selections became a shell of what they used to carry. The last book I bought from Borders was also so dammed expensive, made all the worse by realizing that if I was a bit patient I could have saved over $10 to have it shipped to me from an online seller.

But about 10 years ago I (and it seemed many others as well) frequented the stores and kept them in good stead. When I lived in Jefferson City, a visit to the Borders in KC or St Louis was a breath of civilization, I could get things I never saw in Jefferson City's Wal-Mart dominated retail world. On business trips, they were a place I could go to be around people and not stuck in a drab, same old hotel room.

One of the stores slated to close is the one in Deerfield, IL at 49 S. Waukegan Rd. Located at a busy intersection in north suburban Chicago, this was one of my refuges. As I motored back to the drab little room I rented from a friend in Waukegan while living a short time in the area, I passed this store and usually took a few minutes to stop. I had little else to do. I would get a cup of coffee, wander around, get a magazine or a CD and just relax in the middle of my stressful commute. But time must have chipped away at the customer base and it is among the unlucky. I doubt even I could have kept it going.

Another old haunt is the one in east Wichita at 1715 Rock Rd. I frequented Wichita during my Beverly days even if my business took me elsewhere in south central Kansas. Wichita was a breath of urban air in among the small towns and wheat fields. Just down the street from this Borders was a fine Asian restaurant with some good Chinese and sushi to boot. After pigging out, I (and sometimes others traveling with me) would retire to the store for coffee, browsing and usually a purchase or two. If I were still frequenting Wichita (have not been there in years) like I used to, I would certainly miss this location and would be annoyed to have to go all the way out west of town for the remaining store. I guess that is where the business is now.

Sadly, the closest one to me will be the only one in the area to close. Located up north of the river at 8628 Boardwalk in among a big box, strip mall development, I sometimes popped in when suburban shopping at the near by Target, Kohls or the dreaded Wal-Mart was planned.

Barnes and Noble, Borders competitor (and like Walgreens and CVS, seem to locate opposite each other) seems to be weathering the storm a bit better. There is a B & N close to me, but I always preferred the more casual and friendlier Borders. They had better CD selection too. I really do not get to that store much either, and I can walk there on a good day.

Sadly I fear it may be inevitable that all Borders will eventually close. Bankruptcies like these seldom work out. As I mentioned, I am part of the problem, but when the stores fail to stock what I want (I know my book and CD tastes are not actually in the mainstream) I have to take my dollars elsewhere.

Thanks Borders locations mentioned above, you were a fine and well remembered part of my life. I wish it would have ended differently.

It Snowed

It snowed, It snowed
It snowed last night
Everything is sparkling with diamond light

("It Snowed" ~ Meaghan Smith)

Outside of my Ipod, where I have a copy of this ditty in a Christmas music collection, I will not hear those words today around here. What I will hear is:

"look at this shit"

"That's it, I am moving to Florida"

"Can you believe this?"

"I am so sick of weather"

Ad nauseum....

Yes, Virginia, I can believe it; Snow in this part of the world is a fact of life, been doing it for a loooooooooooooong time. And, friends, we can't do much about it quickly, but we are making great strides in getting rid of this "shit". Keep feeding global warming, using petrochemicals, burning off forests and this "shit" will either disappear or take over the world, which ever you prefer. You will soon be sick from no weather at all.

As for Florida, the few times I have been there you can keep the place. And with a newly elected crook for a Governor, rampant Teabaggers and a population of rich aging people, the toxic political climate is not a fair exchange for a few rays of mosquito infested sun.

You know what? Just chill (pun intended). Make a snow man, throw some snow, get out and shovel a bit and work off the belly fat, use the scarf Aunt Mabel knitted for you, relish the fact that the decay of this crazy city is covered for a few moments in glimmering crystal. Then take your time getting where you need to be, or stay home and read, build a fire, relax, hoist a glass to the men and women who make a living removing snow, pay a neighbor kid a few bucks to shovel the drive, the possibilities are endless.

Why are we this way? I chalk it up to the fact that we are all just old and living in a dying empire, bombarded by negativity and frustration. As for me, I have already relished the sight of the world around me covered in fresh snow, the cold, crisp air with the snowflakes dancing around me. HM has enjoyed a snoot full as she snorted around in the stuff, remembering all over again that she likes it. I felt 10 years old again until a neighbor came out and moaned and whined.

Enjoy the winter wonderland while it lasts; you'll all be growling about the heat in a few months.

It Gets Better

PURPLE represents Spirit on the Rainbow flag and that’s exactly what I wish for all GLBTQ people, especially young people, who feel bullied and are subjected to violence and bigotry. It gets better. Reach out and you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are.

Please wear purple on October 20th.

Lunacy on the Loose

Further proof that the USA has lost is collective mind. I can just see some sun-baked nutcase think that this is the horse of the apocalypse or something Islamic:

Something Worth Sharing

I happened to catch this today, along with an article in the KC Star that the efforts of the Administration to jump start the economy has worked. But, since the US is now careening perilously towards stupidity, many will not believe it since Rush or Glenn or some other entertainer didn't scream it out.

"Can a nation remain a superpower if its internal politics are incorrigibly stupid?" Writes E. J Donne of the Washington Post. Then there's the structure of our government. Does any other democracy have a powerful legislative branch as undemocratic as the U.S. Senate?

"When our republic was created, the population ratio between the largest and smallest state was 13 to 1. Now, it's 68 to 1. Because of the abuse of the filibuster, 41 senators representing less than 11 percent of the nation's population can, in principle, block action supported by 59 senators representing more than 89 percent of our population. And you wonder why it's so hard to get anything done in Washington?"

Mr Dionne is more optimistic than I am, I think the US is in a steep decline and becoming increasingly irrelevant. But since Rush doesn't think the same... all is well.

In American Politics, Stupidity is the Name of the Game

Happy 4th

This is more true than we wish to think:

Happy 4th of July

Reaching Tilt Level

Is anything easy anymore? Does anyone care? Is "service" just a cruel joke to relieve us of our hard earned money? Is business so damn good you can just piss off or ignore your customers at will? And really, is the anniversary of the death of that clown Michael Jackson really more important than the on going gulf oil disaster, the fucked up wars, the continuing nightmare of the US political landscape...???

With frustration levels above the "tilt" level for many, it is no wonder so many Americans are on anti-depressants, beat their families, kick their dogs or go completely Howard Beale and join the Tea Party. I am about at that level, but rest assured, I have no intentions of drinking the tea; more of a coffee guy here anyway.

With the world on edge, it takes little to send one off into rant-and-rave land. Case in point: after 6 years of good service, I am going ballistic over my dry cleaners. They lost one of my favorite and expensive shirts last week. I was going to wear it at a funeral this past weekend, but since it was first, late in getting back and second, lost in laundry purgatory I had to change plans. So do you think they care? On the surface, maybe. I gave them a week and then inquired yesterday. Nothing. I don't think they have even looked. The clerk, who knows me as a regular customer, told me she "has to light a fire under their butts" when something like this happens. It could take months she said. So maybe by the time I need it again, it will reappear. Meanwhile... I am looking for a new cleaners.

This was combined with a second hassle-fest regarding setting up a new Dr apt. My old clinic was so swamped that getting an appointment was as about as likely as winning Powerball. So I was referred to a local Doc who had an office near by only to find out he had closed it and went to online consultative services managed by "HelloHealth".

With a name like that I should have been suspicious but I decided to play along. On Monday AM I registered, set up an appointment and then went on with my morning online routine which involves checking my bank account at UMB. Imagine my chagrin finding that within a few minutes, "HelloHealth" had tied up over $100 in charges on my debit card. I canceled everything and wrote to them to take the charges off. "Oh, don't worry" came the somewhat condescending reply on Tuesday, "these are just pre-authorizations and will go away soon". It took them until Friday and now I am being billed for $25 monthly service fee. MESS! And I never talked to the Dr at all. So here we go for round 2.

Internet, automation, cell phones all that was supposed to make things easy with around the clock instant access. Yeah, that can work just fine until something goes wrong Then you find you are thrust headlong into the virtual reality world of cyberland, whatever that is. Try to reason with a computer or an email service... it will drive you to drink. Well... try to reason with a human anymore... that does about the same.

Maybe I should just join in and do shoddy work, make excuses, ignore people (I am still waiting for a fellow to come out and give me a bid on my roof, I know I will never see him, guess he didn't need the business.... oh yes, my elevator emergency light battery and a call back from the insurance agent too,) and generally not do a thing until someone calls me on it. Seems to work out for a lot of folks.

When all seems frustration and despair, there can be a ray of light. I was perusing the Land's End catalog and noticed again some stylish and colorful summer Madras shirts, now on sale and with free shipping. So I went online to order one. The one I wanted said it was back ordered until June 14th. Since it was June 21st the day I was ordering, I wondered if it was actually available. So I called their number to inquire. Amazingly, a nice lady answered live on the first ring! No "press 1 for English" or "listen carefully as our menu options have changed" a real live person. She checked and sure enough the shirt was still on back order and probably would not be available again this summer. But, she went on, here are the colors immediately available in your size. My second choice was available but in very limited quantities. "Here, let me order it for you know while you are on the line," she offered. And I did. And it is on the way.

See it isn't that hard to do good business. Unlike Plaza Ford Ideal Cleaners and HelloHealth, Land's End has my business. Hopefully for a long time.

Coffee Spill, BP Style

How BP execs deal with a coffee spill

Sheer Nun-sense

Ah, hypocrisy reins in the Roman Catholic church. An Arizona Bishop has excommunicated a nun who approved an emergency abortion for a woman suffering from pulmonary hypertension. She and the 11 week old fetus would have died. Basically being pregnant was killing her, the baby would not have survived either.

The Bishop, a patsy for the ass kissers in Rome, took his high horse road and excommunicated everyone, pleasing no one but The Pope.

The article asks a very pertinent question. Why was such swift action taken on this when abusive priests were and are permitted to keep all their rights and privileges in the cult?

Damn glad I am not a Catholic.

Nun Excommunicated

Fatwa!

I shake my head in wonder.....

Fatwa issued that would have allowed women to breast feed their male colleagues so they could work together!

Drill, Baby, Drill!

Hey Sarah!! How's that drilly, spilly thing working for ya? ;)

addendum:

This was left as a comment but I thought it was worth posting:

Service Without a Smile

Along with the implosion of polite public discourse, political compromise and co-operation comes the end of customer service. It is dead for all practical purposes. No one cares, you pays your money and you takes your chance. If something is wrong, well good luck in finding someone who cares. Good luck even finding someone to provide service. And if they say they will do something... I give it 50/50 that they will.

I have so far been stood up by 3 different concrete contractors. My friend Amy has been stood up by three totally different one. I guess they are so busy in this booming economy that they do not care for my piddly little $2000 job. I made a call to a structural engineer firm, asked for a fellow by name, told his voice mail who had referred me and never heard back.... nothing. It is a 50/50 chance my roofer will come by after reminding him he promised to come by and look at a problem 2 weeks ago. (It seems he is on his way... we will see...). Please, if you do not want my business, then tell me so. I'll go quietly and not bother you. But if you say you do and then piss me off and I will be sure everyone I know will hear about you.

And then when you do get served.. well that is a different story.

Years ago, I worked my way through college as a waiter in a fine restaurant in my home tow, The owner was a bit of a stooge, but the manager was smart and went on to own several successful restaurants. He always told us that if a customer wanted something in reason, they were to get it. If they asked for bluefin tuna and we didn't have it, that was something else. No sauce on a dish.. no problem, a pepsi and vodka with a shot of gin... whatever floats your boat...

Last night at a fancy, jackets-for-gentlemen members only club the waiter got in to a heated argument with a member who was hosting a party (little ol' me got to go!) over how to make a Brandy Alexander. This guy was belligerent and even brought over an i-phone or some such device to show him that it was made with chocolate. The customer wanted one with just ice cream and brandy. That is the way I have always had them. Now, if it were me, he would have had it the way he wanted it. When I stated that I did not like chocolate, he did not offer to make me one without, he simply said it was that way or nothing. I passed until Scott raised a bigger ruckus. It was quite tasty but they forgot the nutmeg... I didn't want to start another war.

Sad that we have come to this. I blame the work environment these days for creating the throw-away employee, laying off at a whim to make someone else richer, cutting manpower to the bone, taking away benefits and making loyalty as rare as hen's teeth.

I don't have a solution.. well maybe I do. When I worked for a company that actually stressed and practiced customer service on a daily basis, we made money, we did well and I had less employee issues than in the past. So it can be done. It just takes a change from "making value for our stakeholders" (translate make our rich stockholders richer) to "doing onto others as you want them to do unto you".

Simple really.

Adieu KFUO

Another sad farewell to an institution that has served its community well for 62 years. KFUO FM radio, St Louis' only classical music station, will cease broadcasting classical music in the next few weeks. Owned by the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, the station was sold for 26 million dollars to, of all things, a Christian Music broadcaster Joy FM.

Many in the arts community, disappointed LCMS members, listeners and even local politicians battled what seemed like a foregone conclusion that St Louis would lose this radio treasure. The church did everything to block any other group besides Joy FM from bidding on the station's license. For example, a group of donors to the listener-supported station attempted their own effort to purchase the station and keep classical music on the St. Louis radio dial, but the group couldn't come up with as much money as offered by Joy FM.

One of the reasons for that could be that the church refused to provide the donor group a copy of the term sheet for the station. Thus the controversial and high powered attorney and LCMS Board member from Omaha Kermit Brashear could shepherd the sale through the approval process and claim no one else was interested. The sweetheart deal means Joy FM only pays $3 million up front and the rest over many years. Who knows if they will ever get the full $26 million.

Even though I no longer live in St Louis, 99.1FM was set on my car presets so when I traveled back and forth from Illinois to Kansas City, I would have at least an hour or two of excellent music. KFUO also played a wide variety of good classical music, not just short baroque pieces and excerpts. At Christmas, I could hardly wait to get in range to hear their continuous Christmas music broadcasts, so much better than the pop crap that permeated the dial. I got to know the announcers, Tom Sudholt, Ron Klemm, Dick Wobbe and John Clayton and could recognize their voices. Even though I heard them rarely since I left St Louis, they still seemed like old neighbors.

But no more. Greed wins out.

KFUO 1948-2010. Thanks for everything.

LCMS 1847- thanks for nothing.

Leave It To Beavers

I am bemused today by reports from Alberta, Canada of a giant beaver dam so big that it is visible in NASA and Google satellite photos, giving it a certain cachet along with the Great Wall of China and the Panama Canal. Supposedly Sarah Palin can see it from her window.

The dam is situated in northern Alberta's Wood Buffalo National Park and stretches about 1/2 mile deep in the forest.

Busy little beavers they are, using just their instincts with no government money or environmental oversight, the dam has been a work in progress since the 70's. Canadian citizens, with their usual good humor, were proud of the accomplishment of their furry mascot accompanied by cheers of "own the podium!" and a sense of pride that the structure was one of the most impressive things ever built in Canada. Some were wondering, however, if this dam thing was not the work of one giant beaver or maybe a conspiracy of rodents to take over Alberta. Perhaps a government plan to produce "green" power by installing generators.

Any way, here is the pic. I am assuming the large brown thing is the dam.

Beaver Dam

Salt of the Earth

Supposedly, Henry Ford (not sure if it was HF I or HF II) would always take a new executive prospect to lunch. If he/she salted their food before tasting, he would have reservations about hiring them. Mr Ford seemed to think these people would act before getting all the facts and thus be a risk.

I probably would not be hired.

BUT I am getting better on cutting back on the old salt, just a short twist of my handy dandy salt grinder and I am usually fine. Unfortunately, being of the single set and a work at home person to boot, I eat out a lot. It is easier, faster and sometimes even cheaper than a home cooked dinner. And with a Micky D's up the street, it is so tempting to count out a couple of bucks and get two warm, ready to eat sausage and egg burritos for $2 than it is to prepare a fake egg omelet and turkey bacon. I am sure it is loaded with salt too, probably what makes it good.

But upon reading an article about the most salty food in the US (thankfully my burritos did not make the list) I think the old fake eggs and turkey bacon may just make more appearances. Plus, with a new used copy of the fabulous 1961 New York Times cookbook in my possession, I have all sorts of new things to try.

10 Saltiest Restaurant Meals

1. Chili’s
Jalapeno Smokehouse Burger w/ Jalapeno Ranch (6,460 mg)
Mashed Potatoes w/ Gravy (1,050)
Seasonal Vegetables (490)
Total sodium: 7,770 mg

2. Chili’s
Buffalo Chicken Fajitas w/ Tortillas & Condiments (6,290)
Bowl Black Bean Soup (1480)
Total sodium: 6,950 mg

3. Denny’s
Meat Lover’s Scramble (3,180)
Hash browns with Onion, Cheese and Gravy (3,820), Small Milk (100)
Total sodium: 6,165 mg

4. Red Lobster
Admiral’s Feast (4,400)
Caesar Salad w/ Caesar Dressing (1,120)
Creamy Langostino Lobster with Mashed Potato (1,110)
Cheddar Bay Biscuit (350)
Light Lemonade (55)
Total sodium: 5,925 mg

5. Olive Garden
Tour of Italy (lasagna) (3,830)
Breadstick (with garlic-butter spread) (400)
Garden Fresh Salad w/ House Dressing (1,930)
Coca Cola (5)
Total sodium: 5,725 mg

6. Olive Garden
Chicken Parmigiana (3,380)
Breadstick (with garlic-butter spread) (400)
Garden Fresh Salad w/ Dressing (1,930)
Raspberry Lemonade (15)
Total sodium: 5,320 mg

7. Denny’s
Spicy Buffalo Chicken Melt (3,820)
Vegetable Rice Pilaf (820)
Small Tomato Juice (680)
Total sodium: 5,090 mg

8. Dairy Queen
Spicy Chili Bowl (3,900)
Large French Fries (1,040),
Large Mountain Dew (150)
Total sodium: 4,625 mg

9. Arby’s
Large Beef ‘n Cheddar Sandwich (2,200)
Large Mozzarella Sticks w/ Marinara Sauce (2,380)
Dr. Pepper (Small Cup) (45)
Total sodium: 3,280 mg

10. KFC
Large Popcorn Chicken (1600)
Biscuit (530)
Macaroni & Cheese (880)
Jalapeno Peppers (480)
Large Lipton Green with Peach Tea (280)
Total sodium: 2,760 mg

10 Saltiest Packaged Foods

1. Hungry-Man
Grilled Bourbon Steak Strips in sauce with rice and green beans (one prepared meal)
Total sodium: 6,990 mg

2. Boston Market
Meat Loaf with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy (one prepared meal)
Total sodium: 5,680 mg

3. Maruchan
Instant Lunch Chicken Vegetable Soup (recommended serving = 64g)
Total sodium: 1,420 mg

4. Celeste
Sausage and Pepperoni Pizza for One (one pizza)
Total sodium: 1,230 mg

5. Rold Gold
Pretzel Rods, (recommended serving six pretzels)
Total sodium: 1,220 mg

6. Hormel
Chili with Beans (recommended serving one cup)
Total sodium: 1,200 mg

7. Jimmy Dean
Breakfast Bowl with sausage, egg, potatoes and cheddar cheese (one prepared meal)
Total sodium: 1,090 mg

8. Hebrew National
Quarter Pound Franks (one frank)
Total sodium: 1,070 mg

9. Oscar Mayer
Lunchables Lean Ham and Cheddar Cracker Stackers (one prepared meal)
Total sodium: 1,060 mg

10. Kraft Easy Mac
Microwavable Macaroni and Cheese Dinner (one prepared meal)
Total sodium: 1,050 mg

I think I could make a Chicken Parmesan without using 3,380 mg of salt.

Volcano!

Click here and watch the Eyjafjallajokull volcano in Iceland do its thing. She has made a mess of flying all over Europe these last couple of days.

Ugly looking critter too:

Lucky

A lovely Easter Eve (is that a correct term?) Saturday inspired me to accompany HM, The Queen of All Pugs on an afternoon walkabout in her 2nd favorite park. The small Mill Creek Park is close, has a nice trail and is relatively free of the shady characters and trash that litter most of midtown. We were rounding the bend by the fountain when we found ourselves face to face (muzzle to muzzle actually) with a rather large canine. Being a narrow walkway, there was not much we could do to avoid the encounter.

HM attempted to greet the fellow walker while her daddy asked me "now what kind of dog is that?" The temptation to slap him with my white butler's glove and icily state that HM is NOT a "that" or actually a dog for that matter passed and I replied "Pug". HM continued to check out her new friend, but the new friend was not all that amused.

I detected some Chow; the ruddy red coat, stocky body and black tongue gave that away. Her face, however, was pure German Shepherd; long nose, prominent teeth quite apparent.

"She is a Chow-German Shepherd mix", the nice fellow stated verifying my observations. "And a lucky one too. I found her 12 years ago in December, she was trying to suckle her dead mother under a porch of an abandoned building. Mother had probably been dead a few days and the tiny pup about 3-4 weeks old. Probably were some other pups, but they were likely dead too. I had tried to get to her but could not, so I got some help. As we were almost under the structure, a pack of feral dogs came running up. The alpha male, probably her papa, was a big, ugly Chow mix, all mangy, bloody and dirty. Mean too. Although his bitch was dead, he was still defending his territory. Got a hold of my pants and coat, but not me luckily. My friend got some bricks and boards and fought them off, just enough for me to grab the pup and get out of there."

By now, HM and her new friend were cautiously checking each other out. Her friend's dad was making sure she did not get too close to Puggles and I was doing the same. Sorry, but I do not trust Chows, they are a bit aggressive and temperamental. I did note that the Chow had a nice white leather collar with stones and a matching leash. She was obviously now quite well removed from her humble beginnings.

"Well", continued the fellow, "I took her to a vet and it was touch and go for a while. She like to never gain weight and fought mange for a long time. But, as you can see, she is a healthy girl, been my friend and companion for all that time, haven't you girl??" He gave her a big pat and ear scratch and her fluffy tail wagged happily. "She is lucky for sure, so she is named 'Luckita', lucky to be alive."

We chatted a bit and went our separate ways along the winding path. A few minutes later I noted them by their car. The man opened the door, produced a bowl of water for Luckita to lap happily. Finishing her drink, she sat obediently and got a treat of some sort. After a few more rubs, ear scratches and treats, Luckita, her bushy tail contentedly wagging, hopped in the front seat of the mini-van and off they went.

Some things are just meant to be, no questions asked.

Coupl'a Things XXXIII

1) Sperm Sperm Sperm Sperm SPERM, wonderful SPERM.. Sperm sperm sperm sperm...

I was amused greatly by the Heartland Men's Chorus' concert celebrating British pop music from the Beatles to Susan Boyle this past weekend. One of the best shows they had mounted in a long time; the chorus was in full view, voices in fine tune and with just the right blend of camp and serious musical work.

The ad-hoc reviewer from the KC Star gave a few backhanded accolades laced with a whiff of homophobia. He mentioned an "offensive" song and had to caution that it was not "family friendly", the code for anti-gay hysteria. The offensive song was the classic "Every Sperm is Sacred" from "Monty Python's Meaning of Life." Look it up if you don't know it, it is hilarious... especially so sang by 100 men. :)

The local rag, as do many of the papers in their online editions, allows you to post a comment. So I started to post that the offensive song was the above mentioned ditty. When I clicked to post my comment, it flagged it and asked me to remove a word. Yep.. sperm. Offensive.

Thus goes the USA, the most sexaphobic country in the civilized world for sure. Sex is a bigger crime than killing someone, sex is not to be discussed, shown, or even referenced to. The Puritans strike again.

So I posted my comment, changing sperm to "male seminal reproductive fluid". That convoluted mouthful was ok.

Sperm.

2)Easter and all that is upon us. Since I am sort of annoyed at all things church and religion, it has less meaning than usual this year. No singing, no running around for special services. I guess I will go a service on Sunday with my friends the Highfills and then to a brunch. But the excitement and meaning is gone for this year. We'll see what next year brings.

3)Spring is upon us as well. It is 66 degrees at 10:30ish AM, and the sun is full. The spring bulbs are in bloom, the peonies are popping up, birds are everywhere. I even saw a small moth flitting around.

I have fertilized the vegetable garden and raked the soil. It looks good. I have 3 onions that popped up out of nowhere and other gardeners have some fall vegetables like cabbage, Brussels sprouts and such trying to revive. Leeks are on my plot for this year, along with eggplant, Italian beans and the usual peppers. Maybe a squash or two and some pole beans. I will let the community part provide the tomatoes and such.

4) And now.... sperm.