Sunday, July 15, 2007

Infiltrating Wal Mart

One thing I do not understand. How did Wal Mart take over the retail world? Are people really that cheap? The Net says almost 20 million people per day purchase something at Wal Mart. I try not to be one of them, but sometimes you just got to say WTF and not buck the trend.

Each July, a local community group sponsors a program to buy school clothes for low income kids (it is my experience that all kids are low income and high out go actually). We get a kid and buy him or her a set of school clothes, 2 pairs of pants/skirt, 3 shirts, socks, underwear and a back pack. So as not not bankrupt my meager income, I don a disguise, borrow a car and go to Wal Mart. I literally had not been in one for at least 6-8 months. Once I went a whole year with out setting foot in a Wally World, I wanted to see if it could be done. I survived.

The SuperCenter I chose was located on what was once Blue Ridge Mall, a big mega mall built in the glory days of malls. Blue Ridge had fallen on hard times as the neighborhood moved east and south and thus was empty; torn down and made in to a Wal Mart. Fate worse than death. Being new, I figured it was a nice place and would have what I wanted.

I was wrong. Although it seemed to have everything, it had little that I wanted. No size 8 slim kids blue or khaki pants, few boys size 8 briefs, mostly boxers (I did not know the kid well enough to ask “Are you a boxers or briefs man?” Hell, he would not know yet. And no back packs. But plenty of plastic crap and cheap other shit to fill a small country. Being a SuperWally World, it had a food section. The people of Raytown, Independence and East KC must have been hungry as the shelves were bare. The store maybe open 24/7 but they stock shelves only on Tuesday I guess. All the meat and stuff was packaged, nothing fresh. Wal Mart did away with meat cutters when they tried to unionize a few years ago. I did buy a jar of pasta sauce. Because it was there.

The damn places are dangerous too. It seems every spandex encased fat woman in town goes to Wal Mart and drives the little scooters around, Mart Carts they are called; running up and down the potato chip isle, running over odd squealing things as they race to the salty snacks to feed their already bulging bods. Get out of their way, they are merciless. None of them look like they are really handicapped with missing limbs and what not, they are just fat and determined to get that bag of Bugles, no matter who is in their way.

And does every kid that comes in to Wal Mart have to throw a screaming tantrum? Is it a law?? Can we please repeal it if it is?

Then if you find your treasures, there is the check out line. They have self serve lines, but most of the customers find them a challenge and thus are longer and slower than the long, slow full service lines. I got up to be next and something went wrong and the clerk flipped on her blinking light, and waited with hand on hip for a supervisor to come along and do something to make everything right. God forbid if Sam Walton lost a penny. I understand the lanes are also camera monitored so the clerks do not pilfer cash. Trusting souls they are. I went to Target (much more acceptable to society) and got the rest of the stuff. But when I got back, I noted that one of the shirts I got at Wally World was an 8 Husky instead of Slim. Rats. I think I’ll just leave it and feign ignorance. I have had enough of Wally World for a lifetime.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, so you noticed that they, too, don't have everything. First, Wal-Mart's prices aren't that great, and unlike the rosy picture of the economy that CNBC paints for wealthy repubs, inflation is ravaging "the Wal-Mart shopper."

Second, they have everything in abundance — except what you need, whether it's a piece of clothing or that goddamned cheese dip I like.

Third, spending time in any Wal-Mart is a frightening experience. It's truly a genetic freak show among fatasses (who use the handicapped parking spaces, then grab the moto-cart); the 90-something crowd puttering around the middle of every aisle; any cashier's dental health; the aural assault upon walking in the door; and yes, the overwhelming number of S L O W P E O P L E ! !

Finally, Wal-Mart is a strange, anti-American organization, almost a cult, with its forced employee cheerleading, lack of healthcare, minimal wages, love of illegal immigrant labor (which the Bush admin. never prosecuted). Only the David Vitter/LA archdiocese christians are bigger liars!