Nobody Wins

It has been a bad couple of days. First the Dr crap yesterday and now a sinking feeling that I am losing things dear to me.

Some friends of mine, a gay couple are in crisis. I can't help at all and it is frustrating. Sadly, good news and a chance at a dream job for one is tearing them apart. M is younger and an up and coming professional in his field. He has been offered and has accepted a position out west. Big money, promotion opportunity, more responsibility; the things young, ambitious men want.

S, on the other hand is older, loves his house and junk, looking to retire, has a secure job with wonderful benefits here. He is loathe to move. But then, as he put it, men like M do not come along every day. Don't I know it. No matter what the decision, it will be a lose-lose all around. M is going, no question. The question is if or when S goes. He is wavering and the issue has exposed some weaknesses in their relationship, as all have. Selfishly, I would love them to stay. I'll be lost without S even more, he is the brains behind keeping the Queen Mary afloat.

It hurts to watch both of them strained and stressed. S cried on my shoulder over the phone over an hour last week. I think they will both go eventually. But no one will be happy.

Again, I guess it is consolation to be single; Puggles goes with me, no questions asked. And she has few ambitious plans besides a place to nap and a treat or two.

The other is my dear Nicaragua. I see it getting ugly and dangerous. This article gives a good idea what transpired. I was there when this happened, I heard first hand about the mob, I stayed up on the hill, out of town. I may not go back to San Juan, and any thoughts of living there are gone.

Gringo Justice

Jamaica is like this, I am told. You go to the resorts and stay there under lock and guard. Venture out and the racism and hatred of the Jamaicans is real. Gays are murdered for sport. Nicaragua has always been a bit different. The people open, friendly, but not real demonstrative or emotional. I relished my interactions with them, I made friends with many. But now, I wonder if I should fear them?

I guess it was inevitable. The mix of rich and dirt poor is a volatile one. Gringos with money (that includes US, Canadian and European) have came in and bought land, started businesses, developed property. Some mix with the people, some do not. With the rise of Daniel Ortega and his connections with Chavez and Castro, I can only assume his anti-gringo rhetoric will increase, despite his protests to the contrary. He will do what it takes to please his master Chavez. The Sandinista mayor Sr. Eduardo Holmann, quoted in the article, has developed his own housing development and property for the gringos and ricos. His power rests on the gringo presence.

It is so complicated in Nicaragua, because "La mentira es la Vida" (The Lie is the Life). One lies, in more of a sin of omission, to survive the poverty and the oppression of the corruption. Nicas will often tell you what you want to hear so as not to offend or disappoint. The will not reveal their true feelings to you so as to keep you as a friend when needed, and an enemy when advantageous. I am suspicious now, is this the real feelings of the locals? I do not know, a mistrust has developed. I asked a Nica, my favorite bartender Arturo if he resented all the gringo invasion. "No, mas trabajo", (no, more jobs) he said quickly, otherwise he'd have nothing. What does he really think?

I watch the outcome of this with interest and trepidation. I know Eric slightly, and I understand he was in Managua when the murder occurred. But for some reason, the Nicas want his scalp. Injustice is ugly no matter where. There is no excuse for it, but to send a message. Be careful of what you ask for, you may get it.