Friday, July 28, 2006

Wayne Meets the Landmark Commission Nazis

Wayne has met the Nazis. Not Himmler or Hitler, or Goebbels or Speer, but a modern-day equivalent, and just as mindboggling.

Wayne is trying to rehab the house across the street. The poor place has had a checkered history, spending the majority of the time recently in a state of disrepair. A long time haven for druggies and vagrants, the place was weed infested and trashy. I used to call 911 frequently as I'd see people sneak in the house to sell or do drugs. Of course the KCMO police were attending the grand opening of a new Lamar's Donuts and could not be bothered.

Finally one day, a sign appeared that it was going to be auctioned off. Someone cleaned it a bit, and it sold. Soon after a young fellow named Jim moved in. He was there about 3 hours before he was broken into. His short tenure endured 3 more break-ins before he fled to the burbs. His fiance would not even set foot in the place.

So Wayne bought it. Hoping that our transitional neighborhood would be a good investment. He put a lot into the place and it looks grand.

Then the Nazis goose-stepped their way into his life.

The Nazis came in the form of the City Landmarks Commission. These air-headed Nazis would rather see the place remain a mess than allow it to be rehabed. All in the name of authenticity. Well, we have authentic drug dealers, authentic vagrants, authentic drunks (two of which took up residence on my porch this PM)in the neighborhood so I guess it is fair for the houses to be authentic too. But really, this is not a fabulous neighborhood. The house is nothing special,and this neighborhood is nothing special either, nothing like my neighborhood in South St Louis with the unique and unspoiled architecture. Who gives a fat rat's ass if the place has wood windows or wood siding, or a "period door"? It is better than being a drug house. I see the need for some rules, or we would have a geodesic dome or a glass cube built in its place.

But someone has given these bureaucrats (in the worse sense of the term) some power. And as the real Nazis, are just a bunch of hooligans and nobodies running wild.

Wayne has learned his lesson, he'll never rehab a house in the city again.

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