Monday, February 02, 2009

Top Ten Characteristics of a Gay Boy's Super Bowl Party

Have you ever been curious about what a gay men's Super Bowl Party is like? Trust me, they are nothing like ones that straight men would have.

1) If there is a piano around and someone can play it, then there are sure to be a group of singers, most alumni from the local Gay Men's Chorus, singing show tunes. "Evita", "Phantom" and "Les Miz" being prominently featured.

2) The silent moments will be for the divas singing before the kick off.

3) 30% of those attending will not know who is playing. 80% will not care.

4) There will be a betting pool, but few understand the rules.

5) There will be more vodka served than beer. Someone will be drinking white wine.

6) Alternative entertainment will be provided in the form of a supply of Bette Davis movies. "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" being most popular.

7) The biggest cheer of the evening will be saved for when Bette proclaims "You are Blanche, you ARE in that wheelchair." It will be replayed for those who missed it.

8) No one burps, farts or acts like a heathen...if they do, they excuse themselves. They will be talked about and likely not invited for next year's party.

9) Most guests will leave when the piano player calls it quits, even though the game is still on.

10) The end of the game goes un-noticed. 65% of those attending do not know or care who won.

OK, a few more:

11) The biggest discussion will not be who was the best player, but rather which was the biggest bitch, Joan or Bette.

12) Anyone yelling at the TV will be silenced, especially during the show stopping performance of "Don't Cry for me Argentina".

13) When a player is announced as a "tight end", everyone will snicker at the innuendo then check him out and nod in agreement.

14) Many of the guests will play fantasy football. 88% of their football fantasies involve their teams never leaving the locker room.

15) The food will be catered, served buffet style on glass plates and with real utensils. None will have football logos on them.

No comments: