An Open Letter to Ted

I am torn, should we as gay men welcome Ted Haggard to the brotherhood?

You all know who he is right? He's the former head of the National Association of Evangelicals and the big mega-church in Colorado. Ted got outed it seems by an escort he paid for sex, drugs and massages over the last 3 years. First denying it, then admitting to buying drugs but never using them...(yeah right)then he finally had the balls to admit, "I am a deceiver and a liar. There is a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I've been warring against it all of my adult life."

I can only assume he means he is gay.

Part of me wants to say, "hey Ted.. brother... we know how you feel. But it is ok. It is really ok to be gay, you are not alone. It is not repulsive and dark, you only are indoctrinated that it is. Gay sexuality is a great a gift from whoever or whatever created us as heterosexuality is. I am glad, Ted, you lifted this awful deception from your shoulders, it is a killer. Many gay men in your position have decided they were so awful and undeserving that they took their own lives in fear and shame. Many live on eggshells, like you did for years... a lot of us know that, and like most of us, we break one and get caught. But together and proud of ourselves and our brothers we can move beyond that... that is what Gay Pride means. Come on Ted, the hand is open, we forgive you, come...."

Part of me wants to say: "hey Ted, asshole...why have you spent time, energy and money destroying the lives and jobs and relationships of your brothers? Why stand in hypocrisy and vilify yourself? Why?? Why hide??.. are you afraid of the monster you created, the anti-gay legislation and backlash you fostered? Are you afraid GW won't speak to you anymore. He won't no matter what, he is only for himself. By your vocal support of making gays less than second class citizens, you hurt me, Ted, and that is hard to forget. You made my life and others' miserable, destroyed relationships and true families, made people ashamed of themselves, twisted sacred words to support your radical agenda, you have put people in prison by making it ok to hate us. Matthew Shepard's blood is on your hands. What the fuck were you thinking? If you were Jewish in the 30s would you have been a Nazi to make yourself feel better and to survive due to the deaths of your brothers?? Is that the bible you read?"

I hope he is headed towards reconciliation and light. But I can see that he is not quite ready. I fear he will get sucked into the vortex of the Ex-Gay movement and become its new poster boy. Continue to be a pawn in a sick and twisted world. Ted even admits it didn't work: "For extended periods of time," he states in his letter to his congregation, "I would enjoy victory and rejoice in freedom. Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach. Through the years, I've sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving to be effective in me."

My wish for you Ted is acceptance. Accept who you are, that gay sexuality is real. Admit that the evangelical church can not "cure" for sexual addiction, or being gay.
Continue to go to church if you want. But read your Bible closely, see that forgiveness and acceptance is the message of Jesus.

Come home Ted. I think you maybe surprised at your welcome.